1. You’ve given up caring whether or not leggings are a socially acceptable replacement for trousers. Let it all hang out, children of the revolution.
2. You’ve had days that your hair has been so greasy, you’ve taken it out of a top knot… And it stayed.
3. You really do think that stationary shopping is revision
4. You’ve tried every combination of packed lunch that doesn’t leave you suicidal:
Salad + dressing = soggy lunch
Salad + no dressing = plasticy, brown and curly
Wrap + filling x tin foil = either intensely claggy, bone dry, or so broken and drippy it’s literally embarrassing to eat in public.
*Should probably stop nicking photos of people’s kids off Google now.*
You’ve accepted your lot now and are back to white bread, ham and mustard, and have a new-found respect for Pret.
5. You’ve started to see that cultural stereotyping is both fruitful and enjoyable. It is, in fact, completely fair to decree that Asians:
a. Love drinking weird things out of plastic jars
b. Skyping on silent
c. Eating yogurt in weird contexts
*Case in point: saw a gaggle eating strawberry Muller yogurts on salad yesterday. No joke.* #asianyogwatch
d. Treating the library as an extended game of sleeping lions
6. You’ve tried to be a smarty pants by hiding your books in the library and the next day you’ve forgotten where the fuck you put them
7. You’ve become some kind of one-woman recycling hero, a new age tramp even; empty Copella bottles filled with water on desk, wasabi peas fall out of every pocket, your bag’s full of knives and forks, mini packs of salt, chargers, hairspray, make-up… You’re basically Bear Grylls of the second floor.
7b. You’ve taken to Instagramming the shit out of anything you can to brighten your pitifully boring existence
Friends Doing Really Mundane Things
*These were all me*
8. You’ve witnessed some of the roguest Googling of your life. Case in point: my housemate oversaw someone doing a price comparision of AK-47s yesterday. Uh oh.
8b. In your head, ‘the walk of shame’ now means having to do at least 2 laps of the library before you find a seat. You’ve perfected your ‘trying to look chill whilst looking for a seat’ face which is about 70% nonchalence, 10% furrowed brow, 20% total humiliation.
9. You’ve got ‘your spot’. And you’ve got your satellite spot for someone you know to sit near you – close enough to catch their eye when a comically loud sneeze occurs, but not close enough to distract you. In your head, you think of it as your library posse.
10. If you could get a degree in the Mail Online, Buzzfeed or reading blogs on how Made in Chelsea is actually post-modernist, you’d get a fucking first alright.
Library blues? Join the club, follow me @jellymalin
Want 10 more ridiculous things? https://jellymalin.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/10-things-americas-got-really-really-wrong/