10 Signs You’ve Been in the Library Too Long…

1. You’ve given up caring whether or not leggings are a socially acceptable replacement for trousers. Let it all hang out, children of the revolution.

No paps please

No paps please

2. You’ve had days that your hair has been so greasy, you’ve taken it out of a top knot… And it stayed.

It could be going worse for you

Human colander

3. You really do think that stationary shopping is revision

This is work.

Who’s the boss now, Stabilo.

4. You’ve tried every combination of packed lunch that doesn’t leave you suicidal:

Salad + dressing = soggy lunch

It weeps

It weeps

Salad + no dressing = plasticy, brown and curly

Turn your frown upside down

Turn your frown upside down

Wrap + filling x tin foil = either intensely claggy, bone dry, or so broken and drippy it’s literally embarrassing to eat in public.

You thought crackers would remedy the situation. It did not.

You thought crackers would remedy the situation. They did not.

Post-wrap-lunch. Should probably stop nicking photos of people's kids off Google now.

Post-wrap shame.

*Should probably stop nicking photos of people’s kids off Google now.*

You’ve accepted your lot now and are back to white bread, ham and mustard, and have a new-found respect for Pret.

Not as embarrassing as this though,

To Prêt we go!

5. You’ve started to see that cultural stereotyping is both fruitful and enjoyable. It is, in fact, completely fair to decree that Asians:

a. Love drinking weird things out of plastic jars

This is bladdy Fortnum's, lav

This isn’t bladdy Fortnum’s, lav

b. Skyping on silent



c. Eating yogurt in weird contexts

*Case in point: saw a gaggle eating strawberry Muller yogurts on salad yesterday. No joke.* #asianyogwatch

Case in point: saw a group eating strawberry muller yogurts on salad yesterday. Is it a sexual thing?

Is it a sexual thing?

d. Treating the library as an extended game of sleeping lions

Wakey wakey

Wakey wakey



Stop it.

Stop it.

6. You’ve tried to be a smarty pants by hiding your books in the library and the next day you’ve forgotten where the fuck you put them

Naughty potato

Naughty potato

7. You’ve become some kind of one-woman recycling hero, a new age tramp even; empty Copella bottles filled with water on desk, wasabi peas fall out of every pocket, your bag’s full of knives and forks, mini packs of salt, chargers, hairspray, make-up… You’re basically Bear Grylls of the second floor.


Bear Sexy

7b. You’ve taken to Instagramming the shit out of anything you can to brighten your pitifully boring existence



Plastic-Flavoured Salad

This salad just wants to be freee

This salad just wants to be freee

Friends Doing Really Mundane Things


Like drinking


And typing

*These were all me*

8. You’ve witnessed some of the roguest Googling of your life. Case in point: my housemate oversaw someone doing a price comparision of AK-47s yesterday. Uh oh.

Psycho alert!

Psycho alert

8b. In your head, ‘the walk of shame’ now means having to do at least 2 laps of the library before you find a seat. You’ve perfected your ‘trying to look chill whilst looking for a seat’ face which is about 70% nonchalence, 10% furrowed brow, 20% total humiliation.

You feel like a cat walking around in bread.

TOTAL humiliation

9. You’ve got ‘your spot’. And you’ve got your satellite spot for someone you know to sit near you – close enough to catch their eye when a comically loud sneeze occurs, but not close enough to distract you. In your head, you think of it as your library posse.

Back off yeah

Back off yeah

10. If you could get a degree in the Mail Online, Buzzfeed or reading blogs on how Made in Chelsea is actually post-modernist, you’d get a fucking first alright.

Here's one way to sell your book.

Why can’t we all just get a degree in Jordan’s cup size?

Library blues? Join the club, follow me @jellymalin

Want 10 more ridiculous things? https://jellymalin.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/10-things-americas-got-really-really-wrong/

7 thoughts on “10 Signs You’ve Been in the Library Too Long…

  1. Pingback: 10 Signs You’ve Been in the Library Too Long… | My país

  2. Pingback: 10 Signs You’ve Been in the Library Too Long… | JetSet Jones

  3. Reblogged this on Amateur Roar and commented:
    Too busy in the library to blog this week, but this scarily accurate gem deserves to be shared. Enjoy and happy studying to all the students out there.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s