10 Commandments For Surviving Your Graduation Party…

Graduation is an absolute minefield. Here’s some handy tips for avoiding those pesky moments at graduation parties:

1. Don’t answer the eternal question ‘What Are Your Plans For Next Year’ with:

A complete emotional breakdown. Save your honesty for the parental phone call.

it's just so damn hard man

it’s just so damn hard man

Anything to do with the word ‘prostitution’

#uhoh

#uhoh

Or the word ‘Deloitte’…

bernie_madoff_newyork

Don’t admit selling your soul to the corporate grind

Perhaps say instead:

A development year!

Just finding myself man

Just finding myself man

A year to find yourself

you are an ocean

you are an ocean

It’s not a year off. It’s a year on.

All those contact hours were stressful after all!

All those contact hours were stressful after all!

(drugs)

why are my hands so big

why are my hands so big

2. Do admit that you’re actually more sad than relieved that your education is over

No one likes a smarty pants

Education is cool man

3. Do accept your losses. There’s no point try to make-up for lost time by introducing yourself to people now… There’s such a thing as a handshake too late.

You'll end up feeling more shame-faced than this little guy.

You’ll end up feeling more shame-faced than this little guy.

4. Don’t spend more time by the cheese / nibbles counter than with your real friends..

Instead, eat cheese WITH your friends.

Instead, eat cheese WITH your friends

yummeh

5. Do vocalize the fact that you’re actually kinda creeped out by the sight of your tutors in a social context….

Because it’s like watching a dog trying to walk on its hind legs.

woof

woof

6. Don’t wear emotionally-regressed clothing to show your carefree nature. AKA..

Dungarees

say cheese

say cheese

Floral head adornments

All ready for the Chelsea Flower Show

First prize at Chelsea Flower Show for you love

Ridiculous glasses

Hiding those teary eyes

Hiding those teary eyes

Actually fuck it, this is exactly what you should wear.

7. Don’t try too hard with your seminar hottie. AKA dont ‘t let your Goldrush know you’re Goldrushing by slipping mining jokes into casual conversation

Hard on alright

Hard on alright

8. Or try to impress your tutors by mentioning random facts about Coleridge… It’s too late to flirt your way to a first now.

Sir sir

Hello professor..

9. Do try and wear all of next year’s lecture outfits in one day

oh la la

oh la la

10. And don’t be sad your education’s over. If all else fails, you can come back as a mature student. You’re only as old as you feel, remember.

Can teddy come to graduation?

Can teddy come to graduation?

Graduation blues? Hit up the grad blues crew @jellymalin @claudinelevy1 @gemmaperlin

One thought on “10 Commandments For Surviving Your Graduation Party…

  1. Pingback: 10 Commandments For Surviving Your Graduation Party… | Time is How You Spend Your Love

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